Welcome to my What I Know Now Series. A weekly newsletter reflection where I share lessons learned with my subscribers. Last week I shared my perspective on celebrating 37 years of marriage. It was a big hit with many subscribers loving that newsletter. So, I decided to share it as a longer blog post.
37 Years Together
This week, my husband and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. Wow — how did that happen? When I look back, it’s hard to believe how quickly the years have passed. These years were filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, sickness and health.
We were young when we started, I was 25, my husband 27. Both of us full of optimism, plans to travel, and a little bit of naivety about what life together would actually look like. Over nearly four decades, we’ve built a life that includes children, grandchildren, career highs, unexpected detours, and a deep appreciation for just how much love can evolve over time.
The Beauty (and Challenge) of Long Relationships
I know not everyone’s story looks the same. Some partnerships last a few years, others a lifetime. Some people find love later in life, and some focus on friendships or family bonds that bring just as much fulfillment. But after 37 years, I’ve learned that long relationships are a mix of challenges and beautiful peaks — and it’s those peaks that make it all worthwhile.
The truth is, no one makes it through decades together without weathering storms. There are moments when you’re in sync, and others when you’re just trying to find your rhythm again. There are illnesses, career changes, losses, and the daily stresses that test your patience – like the toothpaste in the sink! But there’s also laughter over morning coffee, shared glances that say “we’ve been through it,” and the comfort of knowing someone who truly knows you — inside and out, unconditionally.
The Peak, the Pit, and the Most Embarrassing Moment
A few years ago, my daughter-in-law Mallory introduced us to a little reflection exercise we’ve come to love. After every big event or travel adventure, we sit down and talk about three things: the Peak, the Pit, and the Most Embarrassing Moment.
It’s such a simple idea, but it’s become one of my favorite traditions. It encourages gratitude, honesty, and a sense of humor — three things every good marriage needs.
After 37 years together, here’s what we came up with:
- Peak: Raising two wonderful children who are now loving parents themselves — and who still want us in their lives. That, to me, is the ultimate success. Seeing your children grow into kind, capable adults who value family is one of life’s greatest joys.
- Pit: Health challenges. My husband’s prostate cancer and the surgery that followed were tough chapters, both physically and emotionally. But we came through it together. Today, he’s cancer-free — and every follow-up appointment that brings good news feels like a reason to celebrate.
- Most Embarrassing Moment: Let’s just say that one stays between us.
The Power of Small Gestures
After all these years, one of my favorite rituals happens every single night. I go to bed early, and my husband still tucks me in and says goodnight. It’s such a small thing, but to me, it represents what love really is — quiet, consistent, and kind.
It is not about grand gestures or perfect moments. It is about the everyday acts that show up even when life is messy or exhausting. It’s making dinner together after a long day, holding hands during the evening news, or laughing over a story you’ve both heard a thousand times.
What I Know Now
Looking back, I think lasting love isn’t about finding the “right” person — it’s about growing with the person you choose. It’s learning to give grace, to forgive quickly, to keep showing up even when things are hard.
Relationships in our 60s look different than they did in our 30s or 40s. Life feels a little less hurried now — the race of raising kids, building careers, and juggling responsibilities has eased. In its place, there’s more time to simply be together. We find ourselves rediscovering the things we enjoy in common — walks, travel, quiet dinners, or even shared hobbies (ours is golf) that once got lost in the busyness of earlier years. With that slower pace comes more perspective, more gratitude, and a tenderness that grows from truly knowing — and appreciating — the person beside you.
So, whether you’ve been married for decades, are in a new relationship, or are reflecting on the people who’ve shaped your life, take a moment this week to appreciate them. Reflect on your shared journey — the highs, the lows, and everything in between.
Because what I know now is this: love deepens not in the easy seasons, but in the ones where you choose each other again and again.
Never take it for granted. Always tell them you love them. And maybe start your own version of the Peak, Pit, and Most Embarrassing Moment tradition — it’s a great reminder of just how far you’ve come.
P.S. If you are wondering – 37 Years is the Wool Anniversary (according to my son)
— Wendy
Looking for other similar posts try this one: Aging & Spirituality