It’s been a little over a year since my husband’s prostate cancer surgery, and I’m finally ready to write about it. If you found this post searching for answers about prostate cancer surgery recovery — for yourself, your husband, or someone you love — pull up a chair. We’ve been exactly where you are, and I promise there is hope on the other side.
This past year taught us more than we ever expected about medicine, resilience, and faith — and about how much a good surgeon, a stack of questions, and a stubborn wife can accomplish together.
Here’s the headline before anything else: prostate cancer affects about one in eight men, yet when it’s caught early, it has one of the highest survival rates of any cancer. (American Cancer Society statistics) Everything below is the story — and the facts — behind that sentence.
Why We’re Sharing Our Prostate Cancer Story
Men don’t talk about this. That’s the problem.
Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men, but embarrassment keeps too many of them from getting a simple blood test that could catch it at a curable stage. So my husband and I decided that if our experience nudges even one couple to schedule a PSA test, it’s worth telling.
The medical facts in the next section are adapted from a Northwestern Medicine Health Beat article (September 2024) written by my husband’s surgeon, Dr. Edward M. Schaeffer, MD, PhD, Chair of Urology at Northwestern Medicine. [Health Beat article] His expertise — and his kindness — made a frightening season far easier to navigate. As he puts it, “there are great ways to detect it at a curable stage.” The rest is in our words, filtered through a year of living it.
6 Facts About Prostate Cancer Every Couple Should Know
1. Prostate cancer isn’t just an “old man’s disease.”
Yes, risk climbs after 65 — but more than a third of diagnoses happen earlier. For men at average risk, screening conversations should start between 50 and 55. If prostate cancer runs in the family, or if you’re of African ancestry, that conversation should start around 40.
2. It travels with other cancers in families.
This one surprised us. Hereditary prostate cancer is genetically linked not just to prostate cancer in fathers and brothers, but to breast, ovarian, and sometimes pancreatic cancer. If the women in your family have a strong history of breast or ovarian cancer, the men may carry genes that raise their prostate cancer risk — and that’s worth raising with a doctor.
3. But most cases aren’t hereditary at all.
A man whose father or brother had prostate cancer is roughly twice as likely to develop it. And yet most men diagnosed have no family history whatsoever. Age, race, overall health, and lifestyle all play a part — which is exactly why “it doesn’t run in our family” is not a reason to skip screening.
4. Early prostate cancer often has no symptoms.
This was us. My husband felt completely fine — no symptoms, nothing. When symptoms do appear, they can include frequent or difficult urination, burning or pain when urinating, blood in urine or semen, erectile dysfunction, or pelvic pain. But waiting for symptoms is a gamble; regular checkups are how early-stage cancer actually gets found.
5. The PSA test is a starting point, not a verdict.
The PSA blood test measures prostate-specific antigen, a protein made by the prostate gland. An elevated number doesn’t automatically mean cancer — it can also signal inflammation or infection. Only a biopsy confirms a diagnosis. Think of PSA as the smoke detector, not the fire marshal.
6. Incontinence and impotence are not inevitable.
This is the fear that keeps men from acting, so let’s say it plainly: while erectile dysfunction and loss of bladder control can occur right after surgery or radiation, they are often temporary. The risk depends on the treatment chosen, the extent of the cancer, and overall health — and most men see real improvement within a year. We can vouch for that.
Our Prostate Cancer Journey: From a Slightly Elevated PSA to Surgery
My husband’s PSA was only slightly elevated, so his doctors monitored him for a year. He had no physical symptoms at all — which is precisely why Fact No. 4 above matters so much.
Then follow-up tests, including an MRI and biopsy, showed aggressive cancer beginning to spread, and we knew it was time to act. I’ll be honest about my deciding factor: I wanted my husband around so we could enjoy our grandchildren together.
We met with both a surgeon and a radiation oncologist and explored every path — radiation, hormone therapy, and targeted seed implants (brachytherapy). Ultimately, we chose surgery to remove the prostate. I’m not here to tell you surgery is the right answer for everyone; I’m here to tell you to ask every question, write down the answers, and get more than one opinion before you decide. No good doctor will be offended.
A practical aside from the finance side of my brain: a health scare is also the moment you discover whether your paperwork is in order — insurance cards, directives, account access, all of it. If you haven’t organized yours, our Critical Documents Checklist is a good place to start (Critical Documents Checklist), and if you’re on Medicare, treatment decisions can ripple into costs you don’t expect ().
What Recovery After Prostate Surgery Really Looks Like
One year later, we’re grateful and healing. Recovery wasn’t always smooth — but it was absolutely manageable. Here’s what we’d want you to know going in:
- Incontinence: strengthening the pelvic floor is essential. Kegel exercises or guided pelvic floor physical therapy made a real difference, and starting early helps.
- Erectile dysfunction: every recovery looks different. Some men rebound quickly; others need time, medication, or other medical support. There are many options — so don’t lose hope, and don’t be too proud to ask the doctor about them.
- Support: there are private online support groups for men navigating recovery. We didn’t join one ourselves, but I’ve heard from others that they can be a genuine source of comfort and community.
What I Know Now
Early detection saves lives. Support makes all the difference. And no one — no one — should ever be embarrassed to talk about prostate cancer.
FAQ: Prostate Cancer Screening and Recovery
At what age should men get a PSA test?
Men at average risk should discuss PSA screening with their doctor between ages 50 and 55. Men with a family history of prostate cancer, or of African ancestry, should start that conversation around age 40.
How long does recovery from prostate cancer surgery take?
It varies, but most men see significant improvement in side effects like incontinence and erectile dysfunction within a year of surgery. Pelvic floor therapy and open communication with your care team speed things along.
Is incontinence permanent after prostate surgery?
Usually not. Bladder control commonly improves over the months following surgery, especially with Kegel exercises or guided pelvic floor physical therapy.
Does a high PSA always mean cancer?
No. Elevated PSA can also indicate inflammation or infection of the prostate. A biopsy is required to confirm a cancer diagnosis.
Take Action Today
- Schedule your annual physical and ask about a PSA test.
- If you have a family history of prostate, breast, or ovarian cancer, ask about genetic testing.
- Share this post with a spouse, brother, or friend — it may help them catch something early.
This post shares our personal experience and general information — it isn’t medical advice. Please talk with your own doctor about screening and treatment decisions that are right for you.
